Happiness is while in the middle of an ice storm sitting down to breakfast and enjoying a fruit salad of blueberries, strawberries and a watermelon (seedless no less!).
When it snows no one is out and about (at least not in the residential areas) and everything is so quiet that you can hear a church mouse walking in the snow. Last night was just like that quiet and serene. So quiet in fact I had to turn on some classical music to drown out the sounds of my excitement when you guys called. Well at approximately 10:47 PM two guys began shoveling snow. Oh! The noise was like hearing someone run nails down a chalkboard. I peeked out and did not recognize the men but it drove me crazy. So I put on a pair of pants, a sweater, and some gloves. I was so annoyed! But apparently not nearly as ticked as one of my neighbors. Who the hell starts shoveling snow IN THE MIDDLE of a snowstorm? They stopped.
I didn’t really realize just how much snow had fallen until my mailman arrived today. I didn’t hear him at first so I ran out of the house after him. The snow was a foot deep and the packages weren’t helping. I don’t know if he stopped because I was waving wildly and stuck in the snow or because I ran out without a coat and my breasts had a mind of their own – which happens when you don’t wear a bra.
Well, the packages have been sent and all is right with the world, right? Wrong! One of my new neighbors started up his car and raced out of the cul-de-sac. He didn’t go very far. Remember those guys shoveling snow? They hit the pavement and the whole area is nothing but ice. The guy skidded and plowed into a tree. He got out of the car and his face was bright red – almost as red as my dress. I don’t know if he was mad or embarrassed or both. You see earlier in the season he was puffed up like a peacock advising all of us how to take care of our cars and how to drive during inclement weather. Because we poor Southerners “don’t know nothing about driving in the snow”.
Do you recall the slogan: It’s the Economy Stupid? It’s the Ice Stupid! Nobody can drive in ice and the mid-Atlantic region is notorious for ice storms. The ice doesn’t care if you are a Yankee. It’s treacherous out there. The best thing to do in an ice storm is to stay home, spend time with your loved ones and most definitely call me. Ok, forget the loved ones and just call me for cheap phone sex. Seriously, all of you folks hit by this storm, take it easy, ok?
Talk to you soon
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