I was an A student – a straight-A student. Whenever I was assigned a book report, I would head over to the library that day and begin reading my assignment. Within a week I had devoured every syllable and then I would take a break. I needed to distance myself from the book so that I could write the perfect report and once written I read the book again. Sick, right? I was a goody-two-shoes.
Well, this past week I read two books, Game Change, and The Politician, and they were goooooood. When you call for a phone sex session ask me how to say “good” as it refers to these books.
I was born within the southern part of the Appalachian mountains so by definition I am a hick or hillbilly of sorts. I was born in the South, raised here and have never been any further north than Baltimore. Matter of fact I get dizzy when I see signs saying X hundred miles to New York. It’s like all my dead ancestors are pulling me back. So, to my fellow Southerners, please do not take offense, but that John Edwards stuff is some crazy hick shit.
The Politician: An Insider’s Account of John Edwards’s Pursuit of the Presidency and the Scandal That Brought Him Down by former Edwards aide Andrew Young is not a book that I would normally read. I have followed the John Edwards scandal since the National Enquirer’s first yet completely ignored October 2007 story. The so-called mainstream media didn’t pick up the story until months later when the National Enquirer wrote the second story. I read The Politician because I wanted to know how on Earth Mr. Young would ever agree to pretend to father Ms. Hunter’s illegitimate child. It sounded too ‘out there’. After reading the book I get it AND I believe him.
I only have one question: where is the sex tape. First of all, she’s a videographer so of course there is a sex tape. Think about it. When you date a nurse, you suddenly find yourself with plenty of bandages. When you date a police officer, you aren’t so worried about those traffic tickets.
I imagine there are many sex tapes or clips just waiting for Larry Flynt’s movie-making magic. The one sex tape that broke Mr. Young from his crazy hick bubble involved the former senator and his pregnant mistress. Now, I don’t know if Mr. Young was upset because the affair was to be over, and clearly it wasn’t; or that watching a pregnant woman have sex grossed him out to the point that all his Southern sensibilities came back, but thank goodness for that pregger tape without it the book may not have been possible.
A couple of things about this whole scandal doesn’t sit right.
Ms. Hunter has no other children. She’s 43 and having her first and most likely only child. Without planning and the aid, some sort of fertility drugs, a 40-something-year-old woman having her first child way past the date of expiration is a fricking miracle. Elizabeth Edwards said something during her book tour on The View that I found interesting. Barbara Walters asked what if the kid is John Edwards. Elizabeth implied that forgiveness is based on if he planned on having another family. I think he did, and any woman over 32 would agree that some planning had to occur on the part of Ms. Hunter because 43-year old women who have never been pregnant don’t suddenly become pregnant.
John Edwards – notice how I do not refer to him as senator anymore – keeps confessing and yet continues to lie. Guys, haven’t you found it easier to lie to one woman at a time? Some of you have realized by now that your inability to be believed is directly proportional to the number of women who hear your lie. He admitted to having an affair on Niteline about a year ago. So, a couple of million women heard him, and no one believed him.
Like slowly pulling off a bandaid. After reading the books I now understand my fascination with the John Edwards scandal: he is testing us to see which lie we are going to believe. He is still playing the game. He still thinks he is a contender. John Edwards doesn’t get it. The electorate is never going to believe him again. He will never be appointed to anything of substance and if he ran for an elected office I and others like me would gleefully write a check to the other candidate. No one is buying that his sexual relationship with Ms. Hunter is over. And the bit about suddenly becoming a doting father after denying the parentage of a child will not put him in the good graces of the electorate. Not buying it.
My fascination with the John Edwards scandal has been satiated.
As you know Elizabeth Edwards lost a teenage son in a tragic accident and later decided to have more children. Mrs. Edwards – not John – went through a protocol some argue increases your chance of developing cancer. This woman has suffered and sacrificed greatly and throughout she has a husband doing crazy hick shit. Anyone who has had a mother or grandmother who has succumbed or survived cancer understands the pain of not knowing if the matriarch of your family is going to see another birthday or Christmas. Despite what anyone says Elizabeth Edwards has handled herself as well as can be expected. After hearing the lies firsthand I think a lot of women wanted her to pack up and leave like Governor Sanford’s wife but when something like this happens every woman has her own timeline. Just as certain as I am of the end John Edwards political career I know Elizabeth Edwards is going to be more than fine.
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