Someone suggested another use for an item in the Horny Man’s Survival Kit. For those of you with a little ‘on the side’ or craving some ‘strange’, screw it! These code words aren’t working. For those who must contend with two women or enjoy the pleasures of a ‘working girl’ here’s a tip.
After your little rendezvous sometimes there isn’t a place to wash up. Sometimes you find yourself getting rid of the evidence in the washroom of a fast-food restaurant or one of all-night grocery stores. No Rinse Bodywash may just do the trick. It’s better than nothing and as anyone who has been caught will tell you beats the hell out of explaining why you smell like pussy and ass.
A couple of weeks ago I said something about the Kobe Bryant thing. A few of you asked me if I changed my opinion regarding extra-marital affairs. I have never strayed from my views on affairs outside of the marriage. I think it is unrealistic to expect a guy to remain faithful throughout a marriage especially when there are other problems. It is unrealistic because guys are guys AND there are plenty of women who can care less if they are in a committed relationship.
The best thing a wife or girlfriend could do is say: “I don’t care who you fuck as long as its not a blood relative because then I’ll have to drop kick you for being so stupid or a minor or animal because that is just as stupid. You must tell me about everyone you do screw for safety reasons. In other words no babies, no disease and no scandal”. Now that sounds reasonable, doesn’t it? Most of you guys could follow those rules, right?
In my world, guys would get laid more often and women wouldn’t have to be bothered as much. Shows like Jerry Springer would no longer exist and the world will enter a Golden Age of Sex. But this is not my world that is probably for the best because in my world everyone wears skin suits and that may not be a good thing for somebody types.
In the real world, we have been brainwashed into thinking that same-sex relationships are e-val. That’s not a typo. It means evil to the tenth degree. And that there is only one solution to heterosexual relationships: one man and one woman. I disagree.
You guys think about sex an average of 39 times a day. Women think about it maybe 3 times a day. Men masturbate an average of once every other day. Women masturbate an average of once every three months! Guys climax just about every time. 10% of women will never have an orgasm and 66% are faking it. With those statistics, if I were a man I would get a little ‘strange’ now and again too. However, I would have an agreement with my loved one as mentioned above because betrayal is the only sin.
Now I know some of you guys have never cheated – thought about it – been propositioned – but never have. Excellent! Don’t take what I say here as a reason to change your position. And some of you guys have enjoyed the company of someone other than your wife or girlfriend. I am not judging. I’m just saying that there has to be a better way for everyone.
Getting back to the Kobe Bryant thing. It seems to me that ballplayers have found that ‘better way’. I stopped dating athletes a long time ago because of the code of silence that wives and live-in girlfriends have to endure. Basically, they adopt a “don’t ask and don’t tell” philosophy. I’m not the type of person that can endure that. I want details. They won’t admit it but every woman wants to know “Is she prettier than me?”, “Is she better than me …in bed?” and “How so?”.
So there you have it.
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