Early last week I received a call from someone in the Department of Labor (DoL). The woman’s voice blasted through the speaker. She sounds nice either that or a bit slow. You decide.
So I call E- and ask her to explain the situation. E- tells me that for the past two months the DoL has been receiving my Verizon telephone bill and then she adds I’m not going to pay your bill. Funny I don’t remember asking the Department of Labor to pay my phone bill. She’s still talking. When she stops talking, it’s clear that E- is a little slow – not small yellow bus slow but soccer mom drink the kool-aid I believe everything of television slow.
I suggest she return my Verizon bill – unopened- to Verizon and then I begin to ask questions. The conversation went a little like this:
Damn Fine Sexy Cheryl: What is the address on the bill?
Department of Labor Chickie: 2 Massachusetts Avenue, Northeast
Cheryl, Queen of Cheap Phone Sex: Well, that is the correct address.
DoL Chickie: No, 2 Massachusetts NE is the Department of Labor’s building.
At this point, my eyes are closed and I am trying to envision the building. I do not recall ever seeing the Department of Labor. Well, apparently they aren’t as noticeable as say the Department of Transportation.
Smart Ass Phone Sex Hottie, Cheryl: Really? Do you mean NE and not SE or SW?
Thinking Really Hard DoL Chickie: No, our building is in NE?
Cheap Phone Sex Maven Cheryl: There isn’t a post office?
DoL Chickie: No
Cheryl, Cheap Phone Sex Diva: Right next to Union Station? Across from the Capitol?
DoL Chickie: No
Thinking Hard Again DoL Chickie: Well, the post office is under us?
Smelling blood in the water, I go in for the kill. After having her look at the address on the bill and recite the DoL’s address I come to the following conclusion: My phone bill is missing the suite number and as a result was inadvertently sent to the Department of Labor. As further proof, the zip codes are completely different and since DC’s main post office is downstairs she should simply hand it to the box people. They’ll know what to do. Oh, and if you open my mail again, worrying about whether to pay my bill will be the least of your worries.
Now if it were the Department of Defense odds are they would have paid it!
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