If I were (heaven forbid) in a single-car accident, how many days do you think I could duck the highway patrol? Granted my 32Ds get me out of a lot of traffic incidents so my hypothesized situation most likely would not get as far as Tiger Woods’ Thanksgiving weekend event.
While I was nibbling on turkey leftovers, I like most Americans saw this weird news blip about Tiger Woods. Car accident. Unfortunately, that tends to happen more so over the holidays. Hope he’s OK. Then later we learn his hot Swedish wife used a golf club to free him from the car. What? My ‘spidey’ senses started to tingle because the story sounded a little fishy.
I was not the only one who thought the car story sounded a bit off. The rumor mill started churning and yesterday my favorite rag since it broke the John Edwards’ scandal, the National Enquirer, had this equally weird story of the alleged mistress flying to Los Angeles to meet with her attorney, Gloria Allred. Huh? Why does an alleged mistress need an attorney? Why hasn’t Tiger Woods talked to the good people at the Florida Highway Patrol (FHP) and why did he hire a criminal defense attorney, Mark NeJame?
So, I took a look at the alleged mistress, whose name escapes me at the moment. She’s hot. She has a great body and apparently given the big-ticket names that she has been associated with a winning personality. Since she hired Gloria Allred, it is clear the woman is not dumb.
While checking out her photos I ran across an October article from Star Magazine about the alleged mistress and another celebrity, David Boreanaz, male lead on the Fox show Bones. Star Magazine alleges that Mr. Boreanaz had an affair with Rachel Uchitel (that’s her name). This is why I do not follow celebrities. It is like accidentally seeing your parents have sex or the chef of your favorite restaurant stick his hand in his pants and readjust his penis only to prepare your meal without washing his hands. These are images that you can never shake, but the fact remains that your parents screw and the people who handle your food do not always wash their hands.
If they don’t sue, then you know it’s true. John Edwards never sued the National Enquirer, and I may never watch Bones again. Did I mention David Boreanaz has a hot wife too, a former Playb-y Playmate?
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