A Canadian dating site played a game of chicken with hackers and now there is roadkill all over the internet highway. Last month the hacker group, The Impact Team, announced that they had hacked the site, Ashley Madison. If you recall Ashley Madison is a hook-up site with a twist – the “members” are married. The Impact Team stated they would share ALL the personal information if the site did not shut down immediately. Two days ago TIT made good on their promise. The fallout has been delicious.
My girlfriends who are all tech savvy have had many hen parties with a singular goal – to find out if their husbands/lovers are on the list. I have not personally gone through the information (It’s 10G!) but I know many women who have put together “study groups” to go over every name, address, credit card, etc. Like I said delicious.
Given the type of work that has gone into ferreting out the cheaters I almost feel sorry for any guy caught in the headlights. So, I’ll help you out by offering 4 valid excuses uh …reasons your information is in the data dump. Well, 4 excuses and the truth. Ready?
I read that a Gawker reporter’s name was in the data dump. Not surprised. Dating sites provide journalists, webmasters and others a free account to poke around to see how the site works. In the early days I was given a peek inside and marketed the site for less than a month (didn’t feel right). The idea of passing out free accounts is to get the media talking, webmasters to advertise and vendors to look for ways to improve either the interface or overall experience. I suppose if you are a reporter or work for a company where having an account makes sense for back office purposes that could be a good excuse. Plus any one in a discipline type of role: human resources, law enforcement, managing partner, etc.
Friend Used the Card
Ok, this is a dirty little secret that I didn’t figure out until later but guys use one another’s credit cards to purchase adult services. Of course that’s a no-no at Cheap Phone Sex which will get you banned, but it does happen and here’s why. Guys particularly married men spend a great deal of time trying to hide their extra-curricular purchases which run the gamut from sports tickets to gambling chips to porn. They usually have their single friend or family member cover for the purchases. If the wife finds an odd item on the bill the response is, “Oh, Tom asked if I could spot him. He doesn’t want his wife to find out.” In some instances there is a communal card which if you think about it isn’t that unusual. For example grocery club cards. The purpose of the card is to provide to you special offers or discounts AND give the marketing company some insight into how you shop. Well, to confuse the tracking, many women exchange cards. Guys do the same thing with website credits etc.
Being curious isn’t a punishable offense is it? Probably one of the best excuses I have seen yet. The guy says, “I heard about and decided to check it out. Oh not for myself! I wanted to see if anyone we knew was on it.” Then go in for the kill and rat out everyone you know on the site. Your lover will be so distracted by the juicy bits of new information that she will scurry away to text her nearest and dearest the latest scoop. It’s basic law of the jungle: when running away from a tiger trip the other guy. Win win bitches!
Another good excuse is, “The guys and I were drinking and set up this profile up as a joke.” The account is active. “Jimmy uses it. He and his wife are having problems.” It’s your credit card. “Really? Honey, you know I never look at the bills. They probably tricked me. You know those porn companies have shady practices.”
9 times out of 10 your lover will believe you because …wait for it …she wants to, but my bonus reason is the best one yet – tell the truth.
When caught in something like this honesty is truly the best policy. Most women want to know when, who, what, where and why. She will want to know when it started. Don’t lie because credit card statements go back at least 8 years. She will want to know who did you meet. Tell her “your friend’s” name, what she looks like, where she works, her family situation including children etc. Then your lover (and this part is tricky because every woman is different) will want to know what you did. Tell her. Tell her you met for drinks and you couldn’t go through with it and left. Or tell her you met for coffee and went back to your new friend’s place. Tell her if you were careful and practiced safe sex. Tell her everything she needs to know because if you hold back anything it will come back to haunt you.
What most guys never get is that the longer it takes you to come clean the less likely you are ever going to get back to a workable routine. Believe me at some point it will ALL come out and the longer it takes the more fucked you are. Tip: You might want to practice your confession with a shrink or really good friend or phone sex expert 😉
Ladies, if you do get a call or someone attempts to embarrass you in public with information about your lover’s Ashley Madison account, just smile and say, “I know we created the account together. We’re freaky like that.” Later behind closed doors you can lay into him.
To chat with me, Cheryl, call 1-888-669-6389. The price is $12 for 15-minutes. Regular callers may purchase a package. To chat with my girls, click this link. Questions??? DO NOT call, ask here.