I am somewhat amused that there is a definition for angry masturbation in the Urban Dictionary:
angry masturbation n. The act of pleasuring one’s self while under a great deal of stress, angst, anger or general hostility.
Yup, I have come across some of those angry masturbators. Continuing the series, How To Have Phone Sex with a Professional Phone Sex Operator, yesterday I discussed some of the expectations we have for you namely a respectful demeanor throughout the payment process. Though I would be remiss in not asterisking a certain group of callers where my pearls of wisdom are meaningless because nature far outweighs any semblance of decorum – the angry masturbators.
The angry masturbator is pissed because he is under stress. It’s either work or home or a combination of both. While his credit card is being processed he is almost sickeningly sweet (as if he knows what he is about to do next) and then Mr. Hyde comes out. Some guys understand their Jekyll-Hyde behavior and warn us ahead of time. They’ll say something like, “Did my card go through? Good. Now $%&^$@” Hahaha. I can’t repeat what comes next, but it’s …it’s …remember the Tasmanian Devil in Bugs Bunny cartoons? Yeah, you don’t know which way is up and after the call is over have no idea what happened. The only thing you know for certain is that the angry masturbator has calmed down a bit and can now concentrate on work or whatever is next on his to-do list. It’s a moment of intense sexual need satisfied via phone sex.
Guys, if you find yourself in such a predicament, don’t worry. We get it. We know exactly what to do, and before the end of the phone sex session I guarantee you will find the relief you seek. And to all the married ladies out there you are welcome because if it wasn’t for our service and phone sex services like ours there would be a whole lot more extra-marital affairs. Think about it.
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