Oh yes! It’s the sweet, sweet smell of completion. I have spent the last 30 days renovating my house. First I threw everything out I didn’t need. For a while I toyed with the concept of being a minimalist. You know having a finite set of “things”, but I discarded that idea once I started in on the bookshelves. Do you guys know I collect rare books?
After I shredded just about everything except my birth certificate, passport, and diplomas, I donated all my furniture. Now it was time for the flooring guys and this is where it went downhill. They were supposed to come in December but I rescheduled because after clearing out the back rooms I was a bit woozy. I tested positive for pneumonia and wondered if it was some leftover cooties from my bout with swine flu a few years ago. I snapped back and could not wait for my new wood floor. Wall to wall carpeting blows.
On Friday the floor guys come. There are 3 of them and not one speaks a lick of English. Now, folks, I am not exaggerating here. The main guy comes up behind me and motions to tap my shoulder. He points to the hallway floor and says “wood”, then he points to the living room floor and says “wood”, next he points to the sunroom floor and says …wait for it … “wood”. I surmise and say “you are putting wood down from the hallway to the sunroom”. He replies by pointing to the sunroom floor and saying “wood” and so forth. So, I lock myself up in the bedroom and wait for them to finish. They leave without telling me. I look out and see a gorgeous wood floor BUT the baseboards are a half-inch off the floor.
Over the next 4 days, everyone tries to convince me that seeing the interior of your walls and having hanging baseboards is perfectly normal. Yeah, right. Thanks to M-, G-, J- and T- who looked at the pictures and video of my clusterfuck. Let’s just say now I know far more about flooring than I should. The following Friday the owner came in and installed a quarter-round and now the floors are simply perfect.
I’m going to take out my new socks and do a little Risky Business all over this floor.
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