I am making a pledge to never again contact a call center or call a so-called “customer service” phone number EXCEPT in an emergency situation. I define an emergency situation as the electricity is out OR I smell gas OR life or limb is in danger …OR I own the call center and decided to mess around with the new employees.
Today, I contacted Yahoo Search (formerly Overture). The number in case you would like to know is 1-866-924-6676 or 1-626-685-5700. After waiting a full twenty (20) minutes I finally had an opportunity to talk real-time with C-. Before I get to C- I must say that Yahoo Search has the best hold information. Although I unsuccessfully tuned out the recording something did catch my attention. They have an advertiser’s manual. I love manuals! In a moment I going to head over there, get some popcorn and turn on the movie. It’s an animated thingy. The tutorials would be a lot sexier if I did the voice over. Hey, Yahoo marketing exec-types, something to think about – sexy voiceovers make people buy more advertising.
Back to C-…
C- was professional, polite and would make an awesome phone sex operator. C- did her job well. She is not the problem. The problem is the profession. Customer service representatives are not very helpful when you have a question that is neither in the employee handbook nor used as a skit during the training course.
Prior to picking up the phone and calling the “customer service” telephone number I do a few things. Namely, I read MY manual and comb through the FAQs. I GOOGLE it. Ironic, huh? It’s Yahoo but I have to use Google to find message boards, tutorials, etc. regarding my current situation. Lastly, I contact someone I know who uses the same product or in this case service. Then and ONLY then do I brave the customer service wilderness of “I can’t”, “Don’t know”, “You have the wrong department” and my personal favorite, “We don’t do that.” Did I tell you about the time I went to Dairy Queen, ordered a sundae, and with a straight face the chunky pimple face chickie told me DQ did not have sundaes?
I asked C- a simple question. She did the typical “customer service” trick perfected by every politician. She rephrased the question to something she could answer. Being a seasoned Washington, DC bullshitter I recognized the trick immediately so I asked the question again. No I didn’t ask my question in a different way. I asked the EXACT same question again. There was hesitation on her part. She rephrased the question again – a little differently – and gave the same answer – I can’t.
I love – I can’t. Imagine calling Cheap Phone Sex and asking for something I should know like the price of a 15-minute phone sex call. If I told you I can’t give you that information but I update my reports at noon, then you would think either I was on dope or dog food. Or what if we are in the middle of a phone sex session and you ask me to do something and my response is – I can’t! Talk about a turn-off.
I can’t is not an option at Cheap Phone Sex. Granted there are some things I won’t do, and we know what those things are, right? Right?! Cheap Phone Sex is about cheap phone sex rates, great customer service, a little bit of naughtiness and a whole lot of discretion and privacy.
So, I kept asking the same question over and over again. It was like a strange Abbott and Costello skit only using the phrases “cheap phone sex” and “phone sex”. Finally C- got off the mindfucking Cheryl Merry-Go-Round and asked a different question. She then “asked” somebody about my question. You know I sometimes wonder if they really do ask anyone anything. The answer? I CAN’T.
The issue with C- and most – not all – customer service phone operators is that they fail to understand the question. You can not do that at Cheap Phone Sex. If a guy says he wants a phone sex fantasy where he sucks and swallows the cum of a hot transsexual, halfway through the fantasy the sexy shemale best not turn into a hairy bottom name, Bruce. The caller loses the hard-on and Cheap Phone Sex loses a customer.
I’m not in the business of losing customers. So I listen with understanding and continue to advertise at Yahoo Search! Only now it will be through the mail.
This one is for you C-. Keep rephrasing those questions and there will be a seat for you right here on Capitol Hill, baby!
By the way, Dairy Queen has thick, juicy hot dogs too. Time for a lunch break. I’ve been good all week. So, I’m going to Dairy Queen!
Cheap Phone Sex Mistress
Call 1-888-669-6389 for 15-minutes of pleasure for a mere 12 BUCKS