You have friends and family staying with you for the holidays. Your lover is too weirded out to have sex because your parents are sleeping in the next room. You decide to leave your twice-daily masturbation habit for the bedroom – the only place left in the house for privacy. Then sometime after evening rush hour and before dinner, there’s a lull and you hear an old familiar noise – grunting and moaning in a voice that you can’t quite place. You hear it and so do your guests. It’s at that point that you realize your neighbors are fucking – hard. Do you make a mad dash to the bathroom or play it cool and pray you can convince your lover to give you a little tonight?
My suggestion? Pick up your cell phone and call me for a cheap quickie.