It happened again! I was sitting in my house minding my own business and the telephone rang. No, not the telephone I use to talk dirty to all of my Cheap Phone Sex friends, but the “bat phone” aka the emergency phone. On the other end is the United States Post Office. “Miss Cheryl?” For all of you Yankees out there, down here we refer to one another as Mister or Miss [insert the first name].
Well, the lady was friendly enough, but I could tell something was amiss. She handed the phone off to her supervisor. I never caught either woman’s name. The second woman started riding me about not “servicing my box”. WTF, right? Don’t know about you but when someone asks me to service something my mind starts to wander…I’m in the Land of Cheryl where only scantily clad big dick men roam. They walk around in groups looking to build bookcases and open jars …
Back to the postal bitch. She said something along the lines of “blah blah blah blah” and then she said I was banned from having a postal box at her location. That’s about the time I snapped. I was quite polite. I asked her to cite what gives her the right. Then I suggested she do something about her PMS or given the sound of voice and obvious age – menopause. Oh, I had plenty of words for postal bitch, and deserved a reward for being able to dress her down without sullying myself with four-letter words. It’s an art.
Anyhow, I listened to her as she became more shrill. My responses were factual and sharp. There was almost a jovial tone in my speech. I mean she was really bent out of shape about a nonexistent problem and I could care less. The tone of my voice went something like: “Do you know what I do for a living? I walk around naked all day long, looking at porn and playing with my pussy. I can not possibly be bothered with this nonsense and if you were a cheap phone sex chickie you too would have my attitude.”
Postal bitch and I were at an impasse so she did what anyone in her position would do. She hung up!
The bitch hung up! My response was a big hearty laugh.
And let that be a lesson for all of you. Miss Cheryl does not like to be jerked around. Don’t get me wrong. If you have a legitimate gripe, I will listen to your concerns and work diplomatically to resolve the situation. Sorry, I can’t keep a straight face. If another postal bitch contacts me about phantom issues I’m going to do the same thing – talk you to death until you either hang up or climax.
Hey, postal bitch, did you climax? Is that why you hung up? My voice was too much, right? You did hang up in the middle of a sentence. Was that because you realize that your panties were moist? Tell you what, next time you call I’ll give you a free phone sex session only this time ‘bitch’ will have another meaning.
For the record, I love all postal workers. So let’s not play keep away with my mail.
Speaking of mail, I have a few more e-mails to answer:
Dear Cheap Phone Sex,
M- from XXXXXXX Alternative newspaper here—I saw a listing for you on XXXXXX.com, and I just wanted to let you know that here at XXXXXXX, we are putting out a really cool “Alternative Valentines” issue on Feb. 10th. Our vision of Valentine’s is a little edgier than most… I was hoping I could send a flyer about that issue to whoever does your marketing & publicity type of stuff—to whose attention could I send that? And do you prefer to fax, email, regular mail..?
Well, M, I mentioned something a while ago about receiving business solicitations through my commercial site, Cheap Phone Sex. That is a very big no-no.
Dear Cheap Phone Sex with Cheryl,
I’ve enjoyed your site for years as well as our conversations and sex! You are simply the sexiest woman on the net! I can’t visit your site without checking out all the Marisa Diaz pics, what a hottie! very cute, great apple-sized breasts, and I love her pussy. I’ve stoked my cock looking at her many times. How can I get more of her? Does she do phone sex? videos? I need more Marisa!!!
Hi, M-, I am not aware of Marisa doing phone sex and am not certain if she has any videos. I included here pictures on this site, Cheap Phone Sex, like a mini project for myself. You see unless I have met a porn star or model I have no idea who is who. So to educate myself I put together a series of free sites.
As you asked so sweetly I will make a point of adding more Marisa Diaz photographs. I know a guy who sells – I believe – all of her available stuff. So give me until the second quarter and I will see if I can get more pictures published.
Dear Cheap Phone Sex Whore,
I need a whore to tease me.
B-, you must be lost. There aren’t any bitches, sluts or whores at Cheap Phone Sex. That could change if say you had your hand full of …well you … and were poised to either bury or squirt …well you. In other words cum sluts, dick bitches and dirty whores pop up in the heat of the moment. Understand?
Is it me, but do I have an edge today? Damn shame too because I could really trick out a crossdresser or a sissy slut or beat some sense into a submissive male who is too afraid to bury that carrot stick. Oops, I may have said too much already.
You know why this site is entitled Cheap Phone Sex, right? One hint: the price. My phone sex prices are inexpensive, affordable and cheap.
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