Note: I originally wrote SEO Shenanigans two days ago.
This is not how I wanted to spend my Easter weekend. Before I begin allow me to say this: my post titled NSFW was more of a tongue and cheek description of what it’s like to own an adult site and ask for help on a non-adult forum. Earlier in the year I did just that and dreaded the experience which turned out to be pretty nice. So, I hope I didn’t offend any of the great volunteers on the forum. I didn’t find any bigots. Plus thanks to the volunteer who was gracious enough to look into my problem I got another nugget of gold – a wonderful explanation of what NSFW means without judgement. Win win!
Did I ever tell you how I acquired Hushes.com? Hushes is a pretty sweet name and as you all know I am incredibly bad at naming things. Well, years ago when the internet was quite new and George Bush was president (first term), some motherfucker had a brilliant idea. He decided to take my blog and copy it. Every page, every picture and every word with one exception – my phone sex number. Then he contracted with one of my competitors and placed an affiliate number on “his” site. By the time we were done he forked over all the monies and this domain. Needless to say when you have a 16 year old blog you will face all kinds of off-site tricks.
As many of you know, whenever I experience a “trick” regarding my little phone sex blog, I document it e.g. here, here, here and here, because the details become cloudy over time. Well last fall my site started tanking in the ranks. It was a slow drip drip drip and then suddenly poof. I equated it with moving over to ‘https’ as the poof happened the very next day. If anything that move probably highlighted another issue which by the way has nothing to do with any of the activities initiated by me on or off the site.
The plot thickens …
It’s Easter! I have cakes to bake and pork chops to marinate. My cousin’s wife is making the ham this year. I am a little worried as this woman has difficulty with toast …in a toaster! I am bringing a few sides and my super yummy brioche dinner rolls. Between baking and updating my site I will be doing a little research regarding the aforementioned attack. I put out some feelers. What I want to understand is the how and why so that I may share with my attorney. Once I am able to articulate how a cached page plays into my intellectual property (easy) and that my legal notice covers it (a little tricky depending on case law) I will slam a dollar value on the damages and we’re off! The goal is to draft a C&D for my lawyers to present to the various hosts as I am fairly certain the web domains in question have fraudulent whois information. Didn’t I tell you this type of stuff is maddening …and time consuming?
Here’s the kicker: nothing is going to happen. Oh the host will pull the site, if it truly is an issue the search engine folks will work their magic but the black hat guy/gal will more than likely never be identified as s/he probably lives outside the United States. It’s depressing. So, why bother? 10 years ago I would have said it’s the principle. Fuck that. When someone steals from you and/or invades your space you have to make some noise. As a lawyer, I am following the same advice I would give any of my friends, document everything, report to the appropriate entities and learn from the experience because you never want to be in a situation where keeping silent made it worse for you or the next mark.
And you know what really pisses me off? It takes me hours to write a post. Oh, if I had 30-minutes of uninterrupted quiet I could knock one out, but that never happens. Between your phone sex calls and the back office portion of this business I eek out a post here and there. That’s several drafts and a few edits because you know I am severely dyslexic. Then well you have heard my audio clips. How many times has the cat ran in to say hello or someone walked in to hand me a package not to mention the phone ringing? It’s a miracle I ever get anything published. So, when someone steals my stuff it really rubs me the wrong way. Seeing my words on another site ticks me off in ways that I am going to have to go to confession on Tuesday.
Speaking of confession isn’t it time you confessed your sex fantasies. You know you can, right? Call 1-888-669-6389, to chat with me, live. The price of a phone sex session is $12 for 15-minutes. Regular callers may purchase a package. That’s the phone …and my cake!