Some of my best ideas occur to me while I am either in the shower or taking a bath. An ex-boyfriend of mine thought I was clean obsessed due to the number of baths I take in a day. The truth is I enjoy the quiet time. It gives my brain an opportunity to reorganize and re-prioritize.
At night I normally soak in homemade bath salts and listen to classical music. Daytime baths are a little more hectic. During the day I use bubble bath and listen to an audiotape on a variety of subjects. Well, today I turned the television to CSPAN. In the middle of my bath, one of my four-legged friends must have hit the remote control or something because suddenly Jerry Springer was blaring in my house.
Now, I’m pretty savvy when someone is trying to sell me a fish story or when I’m getting jerked around through web advertising particularly adult entertainment sites, but talk shows leave me dumbfounded. Is this stuff for real? I ask because remember I am southern, and I grew up with a bunch of folks who were bred to be on talk shows like Springer, and their stories sound genuine to me. Today the topic is parents who pimp out their adult daughters. Huh?
I know pimps. Pimps always fuck their charges. At least one of the questions should have been: how long have you been screwing your daughter-in-law? Hey, you think Jerry could use another show consultant? Just kidding. Before my next daytime bath, I am going to get some more audiotapes and hide my remote control from my furry friends.
The phone is ringing.