Holidays are a sham. Remember when you were little and your mother would drag you to some awful parade or even worse some smelly relative’s house for dinner that had too many strange looking vegetables? Those were the days when families even though they really didn’t want to be together there wasn’t a better alternative.
Holidays were about family, friends, rest and relaxation. Not any more.
Early yesterday morning some idiot was mowing his lawn. Who the hell mows their lawn on a holiday?! You’re supposed to sleep in, watch pornos and eat food that will keep you up all night. When picking up some extra spices at the grocery store I noticed people running errands like picking up their dry cleaning and dropping bills off at the mailbox. Doesn’t anyone know how to relax?
The typical American works an average of 60 hours a week, 50 weeks a year. The poor working stiff gets New Year’s Day, Memorial Day, Independence Day, Thanksgiving Day and Christmas Day off. And most of those days involve running around getting presents, preparing feasts and just trying to get back home before the traffic becomes unbearable.
The way I see it Labor Day is the only real holiday. No one expects you to visit and you don’t have to cook anything. All you have to do is sit and watch grass grow. Maybe that’s why my neighbor decided to mow his grass.
What really has my panties in a bunch is this whole Holiday Sale thing. How many sales can JC Penny have in a year? Unless it’s a sale on panties preferably crotchless, vibrators or dirty movies I’m not interested. I have everything I need. I do not need new stuff because I’m not done with the stuff I have now.
And the adult entertainment sales particularly the phone sex ‘specials’ I saw advertised on the web are just as laughable. One lady said she’ll lower her prices if you purchase a block of time. The blocks were in 100-minute increments. That’s not a sale. That’s a commitment.
I hope you enjoyed your three-day weekend and had some time to relax and revel in some debauchery. If not, I’m here.
Cheryl, the head mistress of the home of the 12 BUCK cheap phone sex call